Quitting History?
Photo by Brett Jordan on Unsplash
Have you learned anything from yours?
Here’s my working definition of quitting history: you have a story about having been unsuccessful after repeated attempts with one or a variety of programs over the years. You have labeled yourself a quitter.
Whether or not it is a TRUE story is beside the point. What matters is that you are using these strong words AGAINST YOURSELF to somehow justify not trying again.
I would argue that we usually do not QUIT; instead we slowly drift away from the changes we were making, often unconsciously. The changes start to feel hard, inconvenient and burdensome. Then there comes a time we want to try again, and if we have not learned anything from our quitting history, we are bound to make the same mistakes and end up in the same situation.
Using my recent experience of letting my program get away from me during Covid (for months!) here are the questions I used, and that you may choose to use, to learn from mistakes.
What happened?
I started eating and drinking more when we were at the beginning of a global pandemic and everything was cancelled and shut down.
Why and how did my eating habits change?
Plagued with boredom, uncertainty, anxiety, lots and lots of time at home, and with time on my hands, I started eating more baked goods, drinking more, and having other foods that I normally stay away from.
What did I learn?
That vigilance is always required. I thought that with all my years of successful maintenance, that I was immune. WRONG! I didn’t let everything fall apart, but my habits at the edges changed, leading to several pounds of weight gain.
How can I use that to help me now?
Stay vigilant. Remind myself of how easily the slope gets slippery. Remind myself that old habits, like eating through boredom, will pop back up when we think we have mastery. Mastery is a myth - consistent effort is required if I want to eat in a way that makes me feel good.
How can I recommit to/for myself?
Successful bounce backs are not dramatic; they are SLOW and METHODICAL. The first step is to make the DECISION to get back to what you know works for you - NOW. I stopped baking as much, I refocused my eating back to the way that works for me, and I started keeping track of my calories on an app.
How can I prevent this from happening again?
I can’t. It is part and parcel of the process. The journey involves pivoting when necessary - not giving up. What I can do is learn from my mistakes, and continue to try.
What else can I do?
Because recommitment is slow and methodical, I need to be my own best cheerleader and congratulate myself when I do well. I need to acknowledge the small victories along the path.
The good news is that each time you recommit, it becomes easier. My Covid weight gain story was simply the most recent example of my ups and downs on this journey of now more than 12 years. Every failure can be viewed as a chance to get a little stronger, a little faster at resetting, a little bit more clear about what you are after and how to get it.
Move away from being a quitter to someone who uses their failures as stepping stones towards what they really want.
