Got Doubts?
Photo by Vidar Nordli-Mathisen on Unsplash
Congratulations! They are normal.
When we are working on behavior changes we will likely find that things get harder before they get easier.
Let’s use exercise as the most straightforward example. You have decided that you want to move your body in some way for 30 minutes, 4 times per week. You recognize the challenges that will come up - intentionally making the time to do it, setting it up and keeping it as a priority, determining what you will do each day, and being consistent with it. You determine how you will work around these obstacles, make your plan and move forward with enthusiasm.
You are successful for two weeks with no problem. Week three is a little more of a struggle. Week 4 you only get your exercise in twice. The negative thoughts are creeping in and you wonder if you should stick with it. You may be thinking…this is too hard, I am tired, the weather is not cooperating, I have too many demands on my time for this, I have not lost weight, I do not feel better nor am I sleeping better - I thought exercise would help with all of that.
Can you make a decision to move through your doubts and keep going? Can you counter all the excuses you are making for yourself? Can you tell yourself that you need to give it more time? That it is too soon to give up? That having doubts is normal?
Many of us have an expectation that after a week or two of doing something different, the planets will have realigned, we will have our desired outcomes and we will be all set in our new behaviors with no challenges.
A few weeks is really not enough time to bring lasting change of any kind, and when we believe that narrative we are setting ourselves up for failure. In my opinion the most common stumbling block we run into is discomfort; and as soon as we feel it, we quit.
This time as you work to change something, notice the doubts. Notice the excuses you are making. Write them down. Then, make a DECISION to move through them. Make a DECISION to keep a commitment to yourself. Make a DECISION to persist. The process is where the learnings reside, especially when it’s uncomfortable.
