Growing and Outgrowing
Photo by Stanislav Kondratiev on Unsplash
Pay attention. It may be time for change.
This was my last week at WW (formerly Weight Watchers). Losing weight with WW eleven years ago, and joining the staff 10 years ago gave me many gifts. Being on staff there has been one of the most valuable and rewarding experiences in my life.
As 2020 began, I felt like the time was coming that I would make this change. But, in addition to the pandemic having changed EVERYTHING, there were also some organizational and personal changes that played into my decision.
Before I share how I knew it was time to go, I want to share how well it served me. My role there was that of a coach (formerly called a leader) and my primary job was to facilitate workshops by creating a safe space for people to learn, share stories, and encourage one another as they moved through their weight loss and wellness journey’s.
As the coach of groups ranging in size from 6 to 60, I got to use a wide variety of skills. During any given interaction(s) I might need to be a problem solver, an information sharer, a personal story teller, a great listener, a tough talker, a compassionate friend, a sympathetic partner, or a cheerleader.
Every brave person who ever walked through the door at WW admitting they needed help gave me hope in the power of the human spirit, as did the many obstacles I saw people overcome. And, I got a lot of positive feedback from members about how I helped them, how something I said resonated, and THAT was such a boost for me. For years, I felt like I was born for the work, and that gave me energy to transform my life in other positive ways.
And then, after about 6 years, doing up to 9 workshops a week, instead of feeling energized, I started to feel drained. In addition to working in fixed locations, I was also doing 5-6 meetings a week in offices around the DC area and the logistics (driving, parking, security, bringing materials) started to feel like a burden. The joy of working with members was beginning to NOT be outweighed by the other parts of the job. Over the last few years I gave up a number of workshops, and some came to a natural end. I had cut back to the point that as of last summer, I was only doing 2 meetings a week and those are the ones I just gave up.
As with other problems or challenges I have run up against, my body was telling me that it was time for a change. The vague dissatisfaction, the restlessness, the agitation that I have written about on these pages around other shifts, came up here as well. And, I paid attention. I no longer dismiss these feelings. I recognize them for what they are - a signal that what had previously worked, no longer was.
I leave the job a very different person than the one I was when I started - and I consider that a very good thing. Over this ten year stretch both of my children finished high school and college, moved out and now my son is engaged. Both of my parents passed away, as did other people I loved or cared about, and my sister moved across the country. If I had not had this work that I loved through those years, I would have struggled a lot more. It provided me with structure, something to look forward to, outward focus, and the chance to help people every single time I showed up. And, the journey I cover on these posts happened simultaneously with the job. It is all intertwined.
You may be thinking, I am not in a position to walk away from my job. That may be true. And yet, I would argue that no matter your situation, when your quiet voice shows up, you need to pay attention, particularly if it is something that takes large amounts of your time and energy. The body and heart register information long before the brain does.
I have been growing, and that led me to outgrowing the work I was doing. How about you? Feeling stuck (despite or in spite of the pandemic) is always a message. And the feeling stuck can be with your physical body (CEO of Your Body) or Symptoms are Messages, something personal , your Living Spaces , in a relationship, or with your work.
Why not start today and change 1 small thing to help you get unstuck, add something you enjoy into your day, have a tough conversation, write down your wildest dreams. Take a critical look at what is going on and ask how can you shift just a little bit towards better in your given situation.
I have outgrown WW, and am not sure yet what I am growing into, but I can feel that something is coming. My antennae is up, and I am ready to listen.
