Anticipation

Photo by Knuth Waltenberg on Unsplash

It’s good and bad.

Last weekend we attended my nephew's wedding in Chicago.  It was a beautiful event and there were many people from all over the country who came to celebrate with the happy couple and their families.  We had been looking forward to this event, planning for it - and although there were a lot of moving parts, the time leading up to it and the travel were filled with positive anticipation. And while we were there, I did my best to focus what was happening in the moment and to not worry about the trip back to DC, or what was coming up this week.

We look forward to these sorts of events because they add fun and richness to our lives. Whether it is a wedding or a vacation, we anticipate, plan... and then it is over before we know it.

This brought me to think about the other kind of anticipation - one that brings up dread or unease. When we are dreading something that is coming up (like getting on a plane to visit a dying or sick relative, or having to see a specialist for a health concern) we also anticipate it and wish that it was over before it even starts.

Both of these states are normal and healthy...and yet - they can be problematic because they will both take us out of the present so that we focus too much on getting THERE and not being HERE. Getting there and not being here leave us in a constant state of not living in the moment. Not appreciating all the gifts of now and today.

For me (and probably many of you) I have personally found myself more on the side of dread or overwhelm, punctuated with the fun and exciting. I have gotten much better at reminding myself that this too shall pass, and actually believing it. I have also gotten better at understanding that worrying about what I cannot control (and let's face it - that's nearly everything) is a huge waste of time and that controlling my own thoughts and reactions is all I can do .

My toolkit for these moments is the same no matter what - I just need to choose the tool for the moment. I may talk to myself with helpful thoughts to outweigh the loud habit brain of the worst case scenario, I may take a deep breath, I may ask the universe for patience, I may take a stroll (this works especially well in airports), or I may do something with my hands to quiet the voice in my head.

Today - savor the moment - find a moment to look up at the clouds, reach out to someone you love, or stroll around your block with no headphones on.