A Valued Tradition
Photo by Amy Shamblen on Unsplash
I STILL miss chaotic family celebrations.
I am the proud product of a large Irish Catholic family. We love to laugh, hug, sing, and to celebrate one another. When I was in high school we would have up to 30 people at the Thanksgiving table. It was chaotic, loud, exuberant, and so much FUN. The experience of growing up with many relatives nearby helped to shape me into who I am, and as I have gotten older, and have spent most of my adult life without family nearby, I understand what a tremendous gift it was.
My grandma and grandpa Fallon always lived nearby and were a constant and benevolent force in my life. Their proximity and love of all things family made us a priority in their lives, and for me they provided a much needed sense of belonging and tradition. My grandparents’ gave me many gifts, but more than anything they helped to ground me by providing consistency and loving attention, and by serving as the anchors for all of those who loved them.
My father, his parents, his sisters, and his extended family were woven into one another’s lives in a way that was extraordinary. They were committed to one another and showed their love by showing up when it mattered - in good times and bad. We not only celebrated everything together, but also often vacationed together. I will write in this space sometime about our summer vacations in the Adirondack mountains! I imagine that for some of the adults in the family this was too much togetherness, but never for me as a young person.
When my sister lived here in the DC area she and I did a nice job of hosting fun family celebrations to bring a little of the Fallon back for both of us. My parents came, our in-laws came, and we showed our kids what a Fallon holiday could look like. But nothing will ever compare to those times when I was on Long Island surrounded by people that either shared my genes, or married someone who did, in a house full of people having fun.
These memories fill me with gratitude, and because there were so many, for so many years, I thought it would always be that way. Alas, that is not the truth. These gatherings are my gold standard and they spoiled me for what followed: celebrations that have tended to be quieter, smaller, and more formal. Not bad, but decidedly different.
This year will be a whole new set of memories for each of us as we generally downsize our Thanksgiving gatherings and limit our travel. As I give thanks from the bottom of my heart for what I have had, I also give a great deal of thanks for what I have now.
